Most of the time I’m thrilled to go on vacation. It’s a happy thing that is my big de-stressor. I come back to life much more invigorated and ready to go. Disney is great about doing that for me. But every so often, like with this upcoming trip, I struggle with vacation guilt.
When you plan a trip far in advance, there are a lot of things that could potentially come up (by the way, trip insurance is great for a lot of things, but it wouldn’t necessarily help in my case). For me, it’s my cat who is sick and as of now his diagnosis is unknown. We are supposed to leave for Disney in a week, but we don’t know what his treatment is going to be or what he needs yet. For others it could be a sick family member, a change at work, a car that needs to be repaired, or any number of things that could cause vacation guilt.
Here are some of the things I’m dealing with that are causing me not to be excited about going to Disney World in a week:
This of course is a big one, and if it’s a main concern it’s where having trip insurance would really help you out. Merlin’s treatments and procedures have already cost us about $7,000. So yeah, the $1500 or so that we spent on this vacation definitely would have helped, but at this point I can’t really get much of it back. Flights, paying to rent DVC points, and the marathon fee are all non-refundable at this point. So it’s either let the money go to waste or go on the trip regardless.
I don’t know how I can have fun when I’ve been so sad all week. I cried a lot yesterday. Is being at the most magical place on earth going to make me feel better or worse? And if Merlin comes home soon I could be cuddling him and spending time with him rather than being in Disney.
Being without Jason
Probably the biggest thing going on is that if Merlin needs a lot of care, one of us has to stay home. It’s possible that Jason will have to skip the trip, unless we can figure out what Merlin needs soon and his stepmom (who fosters cats) is willing to help out with taking care of him. This is something we’ve planned together for a long time, and I would be so sad to do it without Jason. I’ve gone to Disney plenty of times without him, but this is for the marathon trip. My first, and likely only, marathon. It meant a lot to have him there, cheering him on, and now that may not be the case.
Even if Jason can’t come, I am lucky that I will have 5 other friends who are coming on this trip with me. They have been so supportive, and while I know they care about me and Merlin a lot, of course his illness doesn’t affect them in the same way it does for Jason and me. So they’ll be ready to have fun in Disney. I don’t want to be the downer of the group.
It makes me feel sad too to know that there are probably lots of people who will judge me for going to Disney right now. I know they’ll think “she started a GoFundMe for her cat and now she’s just flying off to Florida?” As I said the trip is already paid for, and anyway Jason may stay home so we’ll be losing the money for his flight and portion of the hotel (at least we should be able to save his tickets for a future trip). If it wasn’t for the fact that this is the full marathon that I’ve been training for since July, I would almost certainly stay home. Especially if Jason is staying there’s not much more that I can do. And I don’t know if I’d be able to go through all that training again next year. I’m ready to run a marathon.
I really can’t get excited for this trip at all, despite leaving so soon. It’s my marathon trip so it should be special. But I’m nervous enough about the marathon itself – now I’ll have that on top of the fact that Jason may not be there to support me and I’ll be worrying about Merlin too. How much magic does Disney really have? Is there still a way for me to have a good time next week?
Have you ever had to deal with vacation guilt? How did it go?